Lessons through the pain

*This blog is in no way directed toward any person. My point in writing this is to show what someone who is hurting is going through. I know a lot of people don't know how to react to different tragedies, but pain is pain, and this can be applied to any situation.

Why don't I ever honestly answer the question "how are you doing?" For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why I don't tell most people how I am really doing when they ask. It's not because I don't want to talk about it, it helps me to talk about it, but for some reason when people ask I don't always feel like telling them. Then I figured it out. It takes no effort to ask how someone is doing. Yes, the person could be genuinely interested, but people who go through something tragic hear that question all the time. What makes one person more worthy of opening up to than another (let's face it, you can sit down and tell everyone how you are doing all the time)? And then I realized it.

You have to earn it.

I don't mean to sound pompous, but at the heart of it all, you have to deserve the right to know. I'm not going to tell any random person what I am going through, like I said, I hear that question from numerous people. As I was just trying to figure out why most people don't really know how I am doing, I discovered that the ones that do know how I am doing, deserve the right to know. Why?

The showed me that they really, really cared.

I'm not talking about asking me from time to time how I am doing. I'm not talking about being told from time to time that I am being prayed for. I'm talking about people who, for some reason, decided to sacrifice their time, or money, or whatever, to show me that they care. Like the saying goes, "actions speak louder than words." Asking someone how they are doing (even when someone really does care and wants to know), is not the same as showing someone that you care how they are doing. When was the last time you decided to encourage someone who is hurting (and we all know people who are)? If you really want to know how someone is doing, you have to earn it first.

Like I said, I pray you don't find this to be arrogant. I'm not asking people to go and change how they are acting towards me because they read this. I'm just being extremely honest about how to reach someone in need. After talking to multiple people in tough positions, I always found these statements to be true, people just need to know you care. I want to sincerely thank those of you who have reached out to me in my biggest time of need. If you know how I am doing, then you know who you are.

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
-1 John 3:18

Praise Jesus.

Cleaning Lady!

Every Thursday morning at 8 AM a few of us college students here at UNCW get together for a prayer meeting (Wrighstville Beachroom in Fisher if you would like to join!) to pray for our campus. It's early, it's usually pretty cold to walk to that early, and can be pretty hard to wake up to, but it's always such an encouraging time! Anyway, I usually arrive around 7:45 to get ready for the meeting, and this morning there was a cleaning lady just leaving our room as a friend and I entered. We said good morning as we passed by and then entered the room. The cleaning lady came back in about 30 seconds later to wipe down a counter top and must have seen me pull out my Bible when she asked if we were going to have a Bible study this morning. We said yes and she got really excited and started saying how God is so good and that she had better get going because she could stay and preach about how great God is all day, and then she left again. My friend and I smiled and thought that was pretty neat, when the cleaning lady came back in again to share a story about how good God is.

Now the story itself wasn't the neat thing. It was basically something about how she locked her keys in her car but was in walking distance to the fire department where she knocked on the window and asked if they could help her open the car. Then she went on to say how instead of walking over to her car, they drive a big fire truck with three firemen inside to come and assist her. Smiling the whole time as she explained this story, I have to admit I thought her to be a little odd, but then she finished with something special. "I just know God was looking out for me, I know I'm the apple of His eye!" And that was the neat part.

The prayer meeting itself went well, and the day continued on as usual, but I have not been able to let that statement go. This lady says she is the apple of God's eye, and she is absolutely right! How easy is it for us to feel insignificant, like we don't really matter that much, and yet here is a woman that works as a janitor for UNCW saying she matters to God. This woman will probably never be famous, she will probably never make lots of money, she will probably never be CEO of a company or have influence over a lot of people, yet she realizes that she matters. It's not about the fame, the money, being the boss; all those things are only achieved by the Lord allowing it to happen anyway. It's about realizing wherever we are, and more importantly, whoever we are, that we all matter to God. We are all important, and we are all "the apple of God's eye." Amen.

The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
-Zephaniah 3:17 (emphasis added)

I'm Mature!

Ok, maybe not that mature. I mean, I'm only 19 years old, don't really have that much life experience, I really can't be that wise, and I probably still have a lot "growing up" to do. I should probably wait until I'm a little older before I pretend to know what it takes to truly be a follower of Christ, after all, no young person really knows how to make the best choices. I'm in college, these are the years I can "get away with" doing whatever I want because I'm young and don't know any better! Am I right?

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

-1 Timothy 4:12 (emphasis added)

I have spent some time lately really letting this verse sink in. It is not just commanding me as a young person to live a good life in speech, love, faith, and purity, and it's not just saying to not to let anyone look down on me because of my age. I'm 19 years old, I want to be a Pastor, but I realize a lot of people don't care what I have to say because I'm too young to know what I'm talking about. But this verse is telling young people (me) to set an example in speech, life, love, faith, and purity. Not only am I called to live these things, I'm called as a young person to be an example. People older than I should be able to look down at me and say, "that's the way it should be done." I don't have to know everything there is to know to exemplify what a walk with the Lord looks like.

No it's not easy, but it is possible and it does happen. I see it at my church, I see it in my friends, I see college students who love and serve God in a way that would and does put older folks to shame. I see a desire to learn and grow and to live lives we are called to live by "young" people all around me. 1 Timothy 4:12 is not there by accident. Young people are called to not only live lives of Biblical truths, but to be examples as well.